May 2013
1 post
5 tags
Reacquanting, readjusting
I’m back in Riyadh. Sorry about the lack of warning… even though this is my second visit back I’m still in a whirlwind. I just took my orgo final last Monday… and now I’m miles away from Florida? Surreal.
No long stories this time… the flight was perfect. I reached here yesterday afternoon. I have already unpacked and gotten over my seven hour jetlag. I was...
April 2013
1 post
1 tag
Snapshots: ... and the green grass grows all...
2004 brought another change: we moved to Sheffield, England for what ended up being six months of adventure. I was eight and my sister was three. During one of our last drives down Peak District, my mother told us to close our eyes and “aankhon mein bassa lo” (= capture it in your eyes). To this day if I think of it and close my eyes, I’m there. Where? How do I describe to you,...
March 2013
7 posts
3 tags
Solitude: a strength
At 5:15 Edie called to tell the girls her husband came home. She never got through to anyone though. Gaby didn’t pick up because she was watching the girls take their orders. Lynette was out with Stella laughing and sharing stories and enjoying it. Bree was outside showing her future son-in-law color samples for the house and smiling politely when they disagreed. And Susan didn’t...
5 tags
"The biggest driving forces in the world are love...
That gem of a quote was from my mother.
I never really had the stereotypic love-hate mother-daughter relationship with mine… ever since I was born I’ve heard that we’ve been best friends (which makes it nearly twenty years… the most stable friendship I’ve ever had). We are a lot alike: we look alike and have same perfectionist attitude and outgoing personality. But...
3 tags
The only thing worse than being left behind is...
3 tags
My life is characterized by getting accustomed to...
4 tags
Music: the language of the spirit
This week I am on spring break and am in Orlando with my mother and brother, who temporarily reside here. At the end of this month they will be voyaging back over the seas to Arabia (see previous blog post). Yesterday my mom had an errand to run in Kissimmee, so I roamed about The Loop @ Kissimmee for a good two hours. I thought I would spend my time in the movies watching Safe Haven or at Ben and...
2 tags
"We live overseas"
I have journeyed quite a bit with my parents, and when we met people on our travels I was often asked the dreaded “where are you from” question. How did I respond? Because I associate most of my childhood with Saudi Arabia, I took abode in the following responses: Arabia, the Kingdom, the Middle East. When my parents were asked, I often heard them say “oh, we live...
February 2013
7 posts
3 tags
“Looking at what has been taken from us is a bad...
2 tags
3 tags
Family is not an important thing. It is...
- Michael J Fox
At the core of my perpetual nostalgia is my unquenched longing to hug my siblings, my cousins, my grandparents… and tell them that I love them more than the world itself. Distance makes the heart grow fonder, and makes the mind realize that the search for happiness is over: it was under your nose this entire time.
3 tags
Snapshots: 5 till 9/11
But before Arabia was a trip home to Pakistan, back to our roots. What saddens me now is how unstable a country that my parents love so much is. They had planned their retirement and future homes out. But all those dreams were lost in an intangible, unspoken abyss. Conditions beyond our control led us to search for a safer life: and that is how we ended up in Saudi Arabia.
I attended the...
3 tags
Snapshots: birth till 5
I realize that this blog is confusing… mainly because I never disclosed chronological details about my life. Let’s start here:
I was born in Kettering, England to Pakistani parents. My mother comes from a highly influential family, both in politics and profession (it is a family tradition to be a physician). My father comes from an army home: his father was in the army and so they...
3 tags
On language
As you can see, I have started a mini dictionary (tagged vocab). I was born in Kettring, a small town in Northampton, England where my parents were living and studying in England at the time. My parents both speak British English and that is how some of the vocabulary I use coincides with British English. I always thought it was cool how I would spell “colour” instead of...
1 tag
jumper - (n.) “sweater,” warm piece of clothing
It’s cold in Gainesville
December 2012
2 posts
1 tag
queue (n.) - line
Let the shopping rush begin
3 tags
Do not stand at my grave and weep
Do not stand at my grave and weep,
I am not there; I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow,
I am the diamond glints on snow,
I am the sun on ripened grain,
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you awaken in the morning’s hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circling flight.
I am the soft star-shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry,
I am not there; I did...
November 2012
1 post
2 tags
The bigger picture: life
I have a lot of pictures. All of the women here do. They’re what we have left of the things time has taken from us: youth, homes, husbands, and for the unluckiest, children.
- Phylis, Desperate Housewives
As per the lack of posts, my life has been revolving around quite a few things, but most namely school. I tread along my days, from class to research to library to home… always in a...
October 2012
7 posts
“Demain, dès l’aube, à l’heure où blanchit la campagne,
Je partirai. Vois-tu, je...”
– Victor Hugo (via edulcorer)
2 tags
Saudade.
I spent a year and a half trying to figure out what it was I was feeling until I stumbled across a TCK blog a few days ago. Not only do I now realize that only TCKs can truly understand one another, I am thankful that I am not alone.
I often wake up finding I can’t quite place what country I am in - for I dream of England, Australia, Pakistan and Saudi Arabia incessantly, continuously and...
4 tags
“There comes a time when we must expose our weaknesses. When our secrets can no...”
2 tags
We are to God what ants are to us
Overpopulated and insignificant.
We tread on the unlucky few insects without paying much attention… just how sometimes God takes people out of our lives in a split second.
Stomping all over us.
Tiny and helpless as we are.
1 tag
nail varnish (n.) - “nail polish,” color pigment used on nails
Relaxation = My Best Friend’s Party and painting my nails with Agustina on a Sunday night
3 tags
Sometimes, it's enough just to know what you're...
“Don’t beat yourself up for not knowing the answers. You don’t always have to know who you are. You don’t have to have the big picture, or know where you’re heading. Sometimes, it’s enough just to know what you’re going to do next.”
My all-time favorite book, The Undomestic Goddess, provides some solace. Exam week has left me exhausted, overwhelmed, and has had...
September 2012
8 posts
1 tag
An endless run: anywhere but here
“The three saddest things are the ill wanting to be well, the poor wanting to be rich, and the constant traveler saying ‘anywhere but here’.” - EE Cummings
& that is the moment you realize that it’s not the places or the people that are the problem. It’s you.
And the years you’ve tried to run away from anyone and everyone and everything were for nothing:...
2 tags
“The three saddest things are the ill wanting to be well, the poor wanting to be...”
– EE Cummings
2 tags
‘Cause if one day you wake up and find that you’re missing me And your heart starts to wonder where on this earth I could be Thinking maybe you’ll come back here to the place that we’d meet And you’d see me waiting for you on the corner of the street
- Man Who Can’t Be Moved, The Script
3 tags
3 tags
“If home is where the heart is then it’s wherever you are.”
3 tags
Remember that for some it is 24/7
“RIP to the 2,976 who died on 9/11, and to the 49,644 Afghans and 1,690,903 Iraqis and hundreds of thousands of Palestinians who paid for it.”
This morning my Facebook statuses welcomed me to a suppressed memory. It’s 11 years since 9/11. A flurry of tangential thoughts rush in and out of my mind.
What if… ?
I can’t help wondering my life would be so different...
3 tags
Out of sight, out of mind... but not far from my...
As many other oldest children, I have encountered the guinea pig syndrome: my parents were just learning how to be parents and obviously practicing on me. But unlike most other kids, I spent the first five years of my life in an uncertain turmoil. Born in a small town called Kettering located in Northampton, England, I soon left with my parents to Australia, where we spent a glorious year that I...
August 2012
10 posts
4 tags
4 tags
Let the rain wash away all the pain of yesterday
There comes a time when we must expose our weaknesses. When our secrets can no longer remain private, when our solitude can no longer be denied, when our pain can no longer be ignored, but sometimes we feel so alone that a weaknesses we thought we’d overcome suddenly becomes too long to fight.
A week of putting up a front led to a final breakdown. Because as a third culture kid, I find...
4 tags
& the quest for a place to call home continues...
I spent the last three days rushing: I thought I wouldn’t like any but surprisingly many sororities struck me as really genuine and seemed fun. Yesterday I wore my new Tommy Hilfiger dress and associated accessories. I particularly liked the kindness of Kappa Delta as well as AXO and Pi Beta Phi. But, today I realized I had no more time for it amongst research and three hard classes, so I...
It’s time for another round of me versus suitcase.
1 tag
dustbin (n.) - ”trashcan”, waste basket
Yes, I am packing for college.
5 tags
Home is where my family is.
I haven’t made a blog post in the intersession between summer B and fall because I don’t even know where to begin. The emotions I have felt these past few days during my stay in Orlando… let’s just say they resemble a sine wave. Up and down. Up and down. But now I’ve sat down to pack for college but ended up spending about half an hour flipping through my senior...
3 tags
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I simultaneously have many and no places to call...
7 tags
In between worlds
Sooner or later, the time comes when we all must become responsible adults, and learn to give up what we want so we can choose to do what is right. Of course, a lifetime of responsibility isn’t always easy. And, as the years go on, it’s a burden that can become too heavy for some to bear. But, still, we try to do what is best - what is good - not only for ourselves, but for those we...
July 2012
9 posts
5 tags
“Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle”
– Plato
2 tags
Ek ajeeb sa darr lag raha tha, bechaini si. Jaise...
3 tags
I love you little, I love you lots.
I arrived in Orlando yesterday night, and my mother, siblings and I went to California Pizza Kitchen because I was craving delicious salad and warm pizza. I was exhausted from three weeks at summer B: my accelerated chemistry class and lab left little free time, of which I started devoting to my new genetics research lab. I sat next to my mother and received a bountiful of hugs and praise, ate...
5 tags
Sometimes we just have to rescue ourselves
“We all honor heroes for different reasons. Sometimes for their daring, sometimes for their bravery, sometimes for their goodness. But mostly we honor heroes because at one point or another, we all dream of being rescued. Of course, if the right hero doesn’t come along, sometimes we just have to rescue ourselves.”
My whole life I spent dependent: I am ashamed to admit that my nanny was the one...
